September 26, (THEWILL) – Homto Dokpesi, daughter of Nigerian media entrepreneur Raymond Dokpesi, has many feathers in her cap. She is a fashion designer, writer, mother, and public speaker. In this interview withSHADE METIBOGUN,she talks about her father, businesses, and sundry issues. Excerpts:
Many people would leverage their father’s achievement and success to rise. Why didn’t you work with him instead of starting off on your own?
After my National Youth Service at the office of the Auditor-General of the Federation, I started working with my dad. I started with Daarsat, the satellite arm of the Daar Communication brand. I also worked with Ray Power 100.5 FM Radio Station and later with Africa Independent Television (AIT). I still work with him personally, but not with Daar Communication as a brand. When I worked in Daarsat, I didn’t get any preferential treatment as the chairman’s daughter. I did my work to the best of my ability.
Why did you decide to quit and start something on your own?
As an individual, you have to discover yourself and know your strengths and weaknesses. It was interesting working with him, but I knew I had a passion. I believe if you have a passion for something, you must follow through with that passion. Understand what exactly you want to do. At that time, I took a break, and then I found joy in fashion designing. I just decided to pursue it since I had a passion for it. Going to do my thing will not stop my father’s organisation. He has people in place to run the affairs of the organisation and move it forward. I just wanted to step out to pursue my own dreams. Every individual is born with a vision. Your purpose in life must be fulfilled.
When you ventured out on your own, did his name open doors for you in the business world?
Yes, at every point. Like I always say to people, God gave me a very good advantage. Where people would struggle, it was easy for me. I could actually go anywhere and introduce myself. Even if I don’t introduce myself, they would ask if I am the daughter of this person or that person. His name gave me that propelling force. It helped me in business. It helped me to network properly.
You have broken into the international market. How easy was it, knowing it takes a lot of effort, money and time?
It was not easy. I remember when I started my brand. I wanted it to be sold in H&M store abroad. I would write and I would have passed like four to five stages only for me to get an email that would totally shatter my heart. It wasn’t an easy thing. When I realised that the doors weren’t really opening, I decided to focus on what I had at hand. But during one of my trips to the UK, I was going to start selling at the Liverpool market. I had gotten a store at the place. A lady came to me and told me that she would love to have my brand in her store. That was the beginning of breaking into the international scene for me. She created some awareness because she has Africans, Caribbean communities shopping from her. That act opened doors for me in the United States. From there, I started selling to people in Dubai, United Arabs Emirates. It wasn’t easy really at first because I had made so many moves. I am of the opinion that no matter how many moves you make, it shouldn’t stop you from what you want to do. The barriers didn’t stop me. I just knew I had to push further.
You are a woman of many parts: an accountant, a fashion designer, a writer, a mother. Which aspect of your career is your favorite and why?
I love to be creative. I love what I become when I am creating anything, be it writing or designing. I love the way I flow. I love the person I become when I am creating anything. I write a lot of short stories and I love the part that I play. I just love who I become when I write or design. Fashion has taken me farther than any other thing I do. But I love all my jobs. They are all creative. In the creatives, nobody puts a cap on you. You can be who you want to be.
How was growing up in a polygamous setting?
Polygamy is what it is. A lot of people will say they have had negative experiences growing up in a polygamous setting. There were good days for me and there were bad days, too. Just like how things are in life. There is no life that will go on without good days and bad days. For me, polygamy is still the healthiest way you can bring up a child. That is my opinion. It is the healthiest because it gives the child a fair chance to experience how life operates. If you are into polygamy, you must learn to be political. You must learn the basics of politics in a polygamous home. You have to know how to behave. It is like you are on the stage. You have to learn to be diplomatic. For me, growing up, there were good days and there were bad days, but the good days were actually more than the bad days. It is still the healthiest method to raise a child, I do think so.
Would you then like to venture into polygamy?
I have nothing against polygamy. I can venture into it if the man knows the essence of polygamy and how it works. People go into polygamy but they don’t know how to handle their women. If I see that he has the wherewithal and knows how to keep the family united, why not. I can go into polygamy once those things I stated are defined.
You rarely talk about your mom. It seems you love your dad more
I cannot say that I love one person more than the other, but I am my father’s daughter. I have spoken about my mother in the past, too, but it is impossible for me to say that I love one person more than the other. I can only say that I am closer to my father than my mother. There are things that I share with my father that I might not tell any other person. My father is my confidant. There are things that I share with him that I also share with others. It is just that he will be the first I would tell before any other person.
What position are you in the family?
I am the third daughter.
Is that your reason for saying that the man you will marry must share similar values with your dad?
I have learned a lot from my father. I am always grateful to him for the opportunity to learn from him. He is someone you can easily learn from. If you spend five minutes with him, you will learn a great deal from him. If I was to choose a husband, he must be someone I can call my father or someone that can fill the gap of that fatherly role. He must share the same values with my father. To me, I don’t think you can just call anybody your husband. I must be able to put you on the same pedestal as my father. I must see a few of his values in you.
How easy is it raising your son single-handedly?
I would say it has been the grace of God. I also have an amazing family as a support system. So I will not say it has been tough. It might be tough for other people but with my family and God on my side, it has been a lovely journey. Being able to bear a child I can call my own is the greatest gift that God has given to me. Every day I look at him, he reminds me of my dad. He acts like my dad.
Is there hope of reconciliation with his dad?
Never say never. I do not hold any grudges whatsoever. Reconciliation is part of life.
Have you found love again?
I am in a very healthy relationship.
As a fashion designer, what are the items that are in vogue now?
Adire has really taken over the place. The beauty, the pattern, the style are quite unique now. You will see pieces right now and you will wonder if it is actually adire.
Your son is into modelling. How is that going for him?
He is fine and his career as a model is going very well at the moment. He works outside the country more than in Nigeria because he is signed to a modeling agency abroad. But he has a kid fashion show in Nigeria this year. It will take place in November, and he will be on the run way for the first time. Basically, he is into photo modeling abroad.
How do you find the strength to do all of the things you do?
I have a phobia for failure. That actually motivates me to be who and all I am today. I also have a son who I am responsible for. Even when there is no strength, I have to find the courage to move on. I just can’t fail. I have to find that strength to be who I want to be. I also don’t want to disappoint my father. I always want to be that light in his eyes. That is how I am able to push myself. Irrespective of how anything looks or seems like, I must go on. So, the fear of failure, my son, and my father are my greatest inspiration.
What are you currently working on?
I am working on a stage play Ezomo N’Ogie – the chronicle of a colossus. It is in commemoration of my dad’s 70th birthday. It will be directed by Mr. Femi Majekodunmi with the assistance of international theatre director Mr. Richard Bryant (United States Institute of Theatre Technology), who would also be on ground to document the project. Live theatre is a ripe opportunity yet to be properly exploited in Nigeria, and I believe this would be the beginning of so many other projects in that line.
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