THE DAY LOUIS VUITTON AND HERMES MET AT FALOMO, AND OTHER STORIES

SOME FEMALE PROTESTERS THAT TOOK PART IN THE OCCUPY NIGERIA PROTEST AT FALOMO. PHOTO CREDIT: PERSNICKETY.

The imposed NLC strike was into its third day. The elite were getting bored and restless. “Let’ have a picnic,” they messaged each other, “Or how about a barbecue?” And so the Falomo Event was born.

It was a gathering of predominantly Yorubas, both those who had “made it” and those keen to belong to the same group. They came out in their finery: designer slip-ons, designer sunglasses, designer bags, designer jewellery – understated for the most part, but all terribly elegant. And then there were the cars, among them high-class sedans, powerful SUVs and bullet-proof jeeps.

Next up, the food. Protein flown in from South Africa, fruits hand carried in cooler bags from across the world, all served up by chefs in neatly pressed uniforms.

As well-manicured fingers, many sporting diamond rings, reached out to take these delicacies, the conversation turned to “matters arising”. This, it soon became clear, was the signal to discuss those elected and appointed officials whose names had been circulating for days within this elite network of texts, Blackberry messenger and email.

Elite it may be, but sadly lacking in evidence. Instead of attempting serious discussion, the group seemed to be competing with each other to bring out more and yet more pieces of unfounded slander.

Here, are my questions for those  Louis Vuitton and Hermes-wearing Nigerians who are so quick to pass judgement.  How many of you actually pay your staff the minimum wage? And which of you, last time you came across a minister, did not seize the opportunity to ask for a “small favour”?

Who earns minimum wage?

Last year the President approved the increase of the minimum wage from 7,500 naira, to 18,000 naira per month.

FACT: This was an amount approved for public sector workers, and does not hold the private sector to ransom.

FACT: Less than 10% of Nigeria’s 160 billion citizens work in the public sector.

FACT: Only 10% of those employed by the private sector actually earn 18,000 naira per month.
While progress has been made for some, it is clear that the booming private sector can certainly do better for the other working class Nigerians. At the very least, the 18,000 wage figure should be acknowledged as a living wage – not a noose around the nation’s neck.

Though shalt not lie

How many Christians forwarded emails, BBMs and text messages in the past week without stopping to consider the truth of the content? How many simply disregarded the Bible’s teaching, and with the click of a button joined millions in spreading lies and slander across Nigeria and beyond?

How many Christians prayed for their leaders, then proceeded to curse and abuse them? How many made grand prophesies for the nation, then “humbled themselves to pray”?
How many of you can say your words and actions in the past week have been those of a true Christian?

How have we reached this point of heaping the sins of all past presidents onto one man? Many of those past presidents are still alive, living out their days in palatial mansions for all to see. How can our current leader deserve to bear all the burden of the past 50 years?

On the Niger Delta:

I wonder how those from the Niger Delta feel in all this – those whose rightful wealth has fed a nation for nearly 50 years. Should they not be the ones taking to the streets to demand that the rest of us pay 141 naira per litre, while they pay nothing?

On the South East:

I love my Igbo brothers. As the strike entered day two, our siblings from the east began to demand that they be allowed to continue trading. They did not want to lose a day of business on account of the NLC or subsidy removal. Their wisdom? “The harder we work, the sooner we will be able to pay for the fuel price increase.”

On the NLC:

Is a strike really the voice of the people when it has to be imposed it on people? NLC had thugs at the airport stopping people from travelling. Road blocks were set up to stop movement of vehicles. If there is a right to protest, shouldn’t there also be a right not to protest? Do civil society bodies have the right to force non-members to stay at home? Do they have the right to encourage the burning of tyres and forced closure of places of business?

Where was the NLC when Obasanjo called for a third term and Yar’Adua was comatose, grinding the country to a halt for months?  Do we smell a majority agenda?

On swelling crowds:

Can someone really tell me if groups of people were actually paid to come out to protest rallies? We know for certain that, for some of the gatherings, they were given food and drinks. We hear some were given money on the last two days to ensure crowds were rallied in mass-election campaign style? Interesting times.

On the Petroleum Ministry:

Fuel subsidy removal is not on thesole prerogative table of the Minister alone It should be remembered that the decision wa a collective one endorsed by the FEC and the State Governments.

It’s a political, economic and financial issue. If anything, subsidythe removal will give the Ministry breathing space from handling allocation applications, to get on with the business of setting up world classa structures for the future of the industry, while increasing indigenous participation.

But perhaps it would be better if we returned to long fuel queues and exploding kerosene. Maybe then Nigerians would appreciate the positive progress the Ministry has made. Of course the Louis Vuitton-wearing Nigerians wouldn’t have to worry. Back in those days, they simply sent their (nearly) minimum wage-earning drivers to queue for fuel, and of course they don’t cook with kerosene. Instead, they put on their diamonds and their Vuitton and get drivendrive in their jeeps to Falomo to have a protest picnic.

It is worth remembering that when perpetuating myths and slandering anyone there is an individual being denigrated

 If you were in their shoes would you be able to stand the sustained assault on your charatcer day in and day out whilst successfully delivering on the real issues at hand..

Written by Chika Ndah.